Should I lie and say I’m back from a hiatus?

I love writing. I really do. I just don’t have any idea what to write. That, and because life is a real pain, Time takes on the role of that ex-lover you keep chasing after but end up resenting because it slips from your fingers like so much sunlight.

Then again, blame the devil on my shoulder; Procrastinator be thy name.

I really shouldn’t complain. After all, I chose this line. I am paid to go through this torture of studying and I should be thankful for it because to be on the other end of the stick is like begging to be stripped of your skin. And pretty soon, I will be on that side.

See what I mean by having a love-hate relationship with dear Time?

But I’m back. At least, I hope I still have all my marbles left to blog something coherent. But interesting… nah. I’m not banking on that horse; I’m not interesting enough.

Or am I?

Islam in Conflict

Abdillah Zamzuri

“Assalamualaikum” or “Peace Be Upon You” – That’s the greeting that Muslims all around the world would be extremely familiar with. It is used when greeting anyone you meet and wishing them peace or mentioning to a person that you are coming in peace when you meet them.

Travel anywhere into a Muslim community anywhere around the world and opening a conversation with “Assalamualaikum” would instantly open up lines of conversation with any Muslim.

That’s how I’ve done it travelling abroad and it has never for once failed me from Asia to America.

And since Muslims come greeting someone with peace, it brings a lot of discomfort for me to say that I find it ironic with whatever that is happening around the world, especially so, when people who claim they are Muslims are committing acts of violence.

Think Syria and think of Al-Qaeda (if it even exists) and Taliban…

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Dubbler – Where Your Voice Can Be Heard

dubbler

For the past week, I’ve been busy with a new social media app that I downloaded into my phone. It’s really a great app where you can record your voice and post it to the community of Dubblers. The app allows you to convert your voice clips into different formats. There is the cat voice that will change your voice into a higher, cuter pitch. There’s the bird voice which will take the pitch even higher. Darth Vader voice that will make any woman sound like a man. There are also a few background music that can accompany your speeches.

This app is especially great if you’re musically gifted. You can record yourself singing, playing an instrument, and all sorts of other musical endeavors. If you’re a comedian, let yourself be heard and add more laughter to the people on Dubbler. You can also treat this as a digital journal and post random voice clips. It’s also great for those who just love the sound of your voice, like me for example.

Just like any other standard social media platform, you can like and comment on other people’s voice clips, and follow users. Use it to make more friends. So far, I’ve been using it to talk about my homeland because a lot of people there don’t know much about Singapore. I’ve also read one of my poems and I think I’ll that more often. I can’t always talk about my country. That would be too boring.

The only thing is, I wish I can save my recorded voice clips so that I can have the option to post it elsewhere. My blog, perhaps. They only seem to have the options to share on Facebook and Twitter. I also wish they could have the function to save a draft of your clip. And by the way, each post is limited to only 60 seconds so you gotta make them count.

If you’re ever curious about how I sound like, or just curious about the app itself, or simply wish to make yourself heard, download the app! Follow me on Dubbler and I will definitely follow you back!

When all is said and done, 2012 has been a blast!

On the last day of 2012, I take the time to look back and reminisce. It’s about to end and I am sad for this year to come to a close. But a chapter must end before a new chapter can begin. And I am excited to begin my new chapter in life.

For me, 2012 has been a super busy period. Wedding preparations is a pain in the ass, I can honestly tell you that. For someone who has never been a planner, I was on the verge of going crazy. But with my beloved mother always at my side, we made it. We put together a lovely wedding. I finally got married after being together with my boy for over 11 years. It was a busy year, but it was a good year.

The only thing that wasn’t good, that was in fact, devastating, was the death of my grandmother. 4 days to my wedding on the 16th of December, she passed away in her sleep after being suddenly sick the day before. It was an absolutely sad time for all of us, especially me and my mum. But we still went on with the wedding. I’m sure my grandmother would not have wanted us to be sad on my big day.

Nenek, you will be missed. We love you.

I don’t wish to go into details of my wedding and everything else in this post. There are pictures but not all are out yet and I wish to wait for the cameraman to finally give us the final product. I’m also waiting for the videographer to give us the final product. There are things I’m happy about my wedding, there are things I’m unhappy about and if I could do over, I would do over. But all of that will be in another post.

This final post before the end of 2012 is just to say that I hope the chapter of my new life, my life as a married woman, will be a wonderful and blissful journey. I hope that if my husband and I were to change for anything, it would be for the better. For each other. I love my husband, I’ve loved him since 11 years ago. I will never want for my love to end. Nor will I ever want for his love for me to end.

My resolution for the new year is to be a better person, a better woman, and a good wife. That means I’ll try to cut down on the profanities and not be a lazy single lady (wake up and serve your husband coffee, my dear!). Hah. I hope!

2013 will be the beginning of something new and something great. Still the honeymoon period baby, yeah! See you guys next year!

THIS. Although I’m not too sure of the credibility of this report, there is no doubt that I am a Singapore girl -_-

THE TEMASEK TIMES

According to widely circulated map by Google on the average cup sizes of women, Singapore girls have one of the smallest breasts in the world with an average cup size of only ‘A’.

Other Asian countries with similar ‘results’ as Singapore are Hong Kong, Japan and China.

The Russians, Finns, Norwegians and Swedes have the largest breasts with an average cup size of ‘Super D’ followed by the United States of America and some European countries with an average cup size of ‘D’.

 

 

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If you’re not of legal age, try not to talk to me (I beg of you)

So this incident happened a couple of weeks back. I think. I can’t remember. I’m not even going to apologise because my internal clock and timeline are all screwed. Just try to ignore the when of things.

Anyway, it was a twitter incident that someone just kinda… annoyed the shit out of me. Well… it wasn’t so much an incident as it was a surreal convo I had going on with this girl on Twitter. And if you hadn’t guessed it already (what’s wrong with you?), she is basically a kid.

14 counts as a kid, no? If you’re not 16 years old at least, you’re not yet on the teenager scale. Or any kind of scale for that matter. Anyone below 16 is off my radar. But if you’re on (because Twitter has this annoying birth date omission thing going on causing me to not know how old you are when I followed you – oohh, scandalous, like I’m stalking someone or trying to engage the dubious services of an underaged sex worker in Singapore), just do me a favour and get off. Or don’t talk to me.

You know, I actually don’t mind little kids talking to me, but if they get to be so annoyingly… urgh! What is the word for it? “Overly cheery, too disgustingly innocent, tee-hee-I’m-sorry-I’m-having-a-bimbo-moment” is the word I’m looking for. Fits this girl exactly. And because I’m nice, I won’t publicise her twitter name.

What actually happened to get me so riled up?

Well, it all started with one innocent tweet from me. I was tweeting about the Japanese Visual Kei group,

ImageThey are hot, hot, hot = awesome fap material

And then this girl, let’s call her… Eurgh, jumped on my tweet and went all,

“Do you like the GazettE too? Do you? Do you? -puppy eyes-” (Yes, she did type that puppy eyes thing)

I should have answered: “No. I think they are disgusting. Worse than poop. What’s wrong with you?” And it would have stopped there. But nooooooo. I decided to indulge her and kept answering her questions like it was a freaking interview. The pseudo interview went something like this:

Eurgh: Do you like the GazettE too? Do you? Do you? -puppy eyes-

Me: Umm. Yeah. They are an awesome band.

Eurgh: Who’s your fav in the band? 

Me: I don’t actually – 

Ok, you know what? Who am I kidding?! Like I would remember a retarded convo like that after weeks have passed (Probably just days but who’s counting?). And once again I go off track.

So yeah, she asked me about who I liked most in the band and all that fangirling crap (OH YEAH FANGIRL COULD ACTUALLY BE THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR). I was fine for a while you know, before she started to really annoy me. What actually got my goat is the fact that when I asked her why she liked loved is obsessed with the band,

NOT ONCE DID SHE MENTION ABOUT THEIR MUSIC

She said she loved their looks, their style, their charm, their hair, their toenails, their farts, but her top reason for loving them was because of their strong brotherly bond with each other. Yes, she absolutely adores their displays of bromance. That’s why she thinks they are awesome. The best band in the world.

So I innocently pressed back at her, trying to get her to talk about their music. And you know what she said?

“Oh I love EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR SONGS! Even if some of them scares me sometimes. I try not to listen to them at night. Tee-hee~” (Okay, the tee-hee was my add-on. Sue me. But the usage of the word, “scare”? Totally her)

By that point, I was flabbergasted, invisible-dick-stuffed-in-mouth goldfish expression frozen on my face. I literally smacked my forehead a few times and got so annoyed I actually ranted at my brother who was in the living room. I practically stalked out from my room into the living room just to rant “OMG AKU TAK BOLEH TAHAN SAK NI BUDAK KECIK!!!” at my bro because of Eurgh.

Thinking back, I don’t know who was more pathetic (I think it’s me since I’m actually typing this long-assed post after weeks of the incident).

The thing is, I don’t know why I kept pushing and pushing at her, trying to get her to admit that she likes the band for their looks, not really their music. Yeah, sure, some are nice ones, a lot of them even, but even die-hard fans don’t like every single song. To claim that it is so is to belittle them, or any artiste. It’s just not on.

So I tried to get her to confess her real reason for liking the band. She said that she would still love them because they rock, and besides, in their early times just when they did their debut, they weren’t hot like they are now. They were chubbier but they were still cute. (“So there! I liked them even if they don’t have the looks!” -> the quote is my self-insert. Again. But you know that was what she was thinking!)

Still not wanting to give up – that day, I was in a super argumentative mood – I asked if she would still like them if they looked like, saaaaaayyyyy,

Image

SLIPKNOT

To be honest, I don’t even know if she knows this American band. I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t. Then I tried to twist it around by asking if she would still like the band if ALL their songs are, according to her own description, scary songs. Metal. Heavy metal. What have you (seriously, I have lost the whole “Which Genre Do You Fit Into?” plot). Suffice to say I wasn’t very confident of her answer.

In the end, she made some excuse that her brain’s not really working so she doesn’t quite get me, and she’s sorry tee-hee (this time, she did all the tee-heeing on her own). After the whole convoluted exchange we had, and with it ending with her apology, I was too overcome to do anything but

Image

So… umm… who actually won?

Therefore, if you’re underaged, help me help you. Get me? You spare me the drivel and I’ll spare you the whole emotional vomit on my blog. Or if you really have to talk to me for some reason (thanks, I know I’m awesome. If I owe you money, fuck you _|_ ), DO NOT TELL ME YOUR AGE TO SAVE ME THE HORROR.

There is innocence. And then there is Y U MAKE ME WANNA POKE MY EYE OUT?! Please, if nothing else, let me retain my oh-so-pretty, shake-mah-booty, you-can’t-have-me face.

 Yes. I am a grown woman bullying a 14 year old kid. So what? Someone’s got to disabuse her of those goody-goody ickiness.