So this incident happened a couple of weeks back. I think. I can’t remember. I’m not even going to apologise because my internal clock and timeline are all screwed. Just try to ignore the when of things.
Anyway, it was a twitter incident that someone just kinda… annoyed the shit out of me. Well… it wasn’t so much an incident as it was a surreal convo I had going on with this girl on Twitter. And if you hadn’t guessed it already (what’s wrong with you?), she is basically a kid.
14 counts as a kid, no? If you’re not 16 years old at least, you’re not yet on the teenager scale. Or any kind of scale for that matter. Anyone below 16 is off my radar. But if you’re on (because Twitter has this annoying birth date omission thing going on causing me to not know how old you are when I followed you – oohh, scandalous, like I’m stalking someone or trying to engage the dubious services of an underaged sex worker in Singapore), just do me a favour and get off. Or don’t talk to me.
You know, I actually don’t mind little kids talking to me, but if they get to be so annoyingly… urgh! What is the word for it? “Overly cheery, too disgustingly innocent, tee-hee-I’m-sorry-I’m-having-a-bimbo-moment” is the word I’m looking for. Fits this girl exactly. And because I’m nice, I won’t publicise her twitter name.
What actually happened to get me so riled up?
Well, it all started with one innocent tweet from me. I was tweeting about the Japanese Visual Kei group,
They are hot, hot, hot = awesome fap material
And then this girl, let’s call her… Eurgh, jumped on my tweet and went all,
“Do you like the GazettE too? Do you? Do you? -puppy eyes-” (Yes, she did type that puppy eyes thing)
I should have answered: “No. I think they are disgusting. Worse than poop. What’s wrong with you?” And it would have stopped there. But nooooooo. I decided to indulge her and kept answering her questions like it was a freaking interview. The pseudo interview went something like this:
Eurgh: Do you like the GazettE too? Do you? Do you? -puppy eyes-
Me: Umm. Yeah. They are an awesome band.
Eurgh: Who’s your fav in the band?
Me: I don’t actually –
Ok, you know what? Who am I kidding?! Like I would remember a retarded convo like that after weeks have passed (Probably just days but who’s counting?). And once again I go off track.
So yeah, she asked me about who I liked most in the band and all that fangirling crap (OH YEAH FANGIRL COULD ACTUALLY BE THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR). I was fine for a while you know, before she started to really annoy me. What actually got my goat is the fact that when I asked her why she
liked loved is obsessed with the band,
NOT ONCE DID SHE MENTION ABOUT THEIR MUSIC
She said she loved their looks, their style, their charm, their hair, their toenails, their farts, but her top reason for loving them was because of their strong brotherly bond with each other. Yes, she absolutely adores their displays of bromance. That’s why she thinks they are awesome. The best band in the world.
So I innocently pressed back at her, trying to get her to talk about their music. And you know what she said?
“Oh I love EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR SONGS! Even if some of them scares me sometimes. I try not to listen to them at night. Tee-hee~” (Okay, the tee-hee was my add-on. Sue me. But the usage of the word, “scare”? Totally her)
By that point, I was flabbergasted,
invisible-dick-stuffed-in-mouth goldfish expression frozen on my face. I literally smacked my forehead a few times and got so annoyed I actually ranted at my brother who was in the living room. I practically stalked out from my room into the living room just to rant “OMG AKU TAK BOLEH TAHAN SAK NI BUDAK KECIK!!!” at my bro because of Eurgh.
Thinking back, I don’t know who was more pathetic (I think it’s me since I’m actually typing this long-assed post after weeks of the incident).
The thing is, I don’t know why I kept pushing and pushing at her, trying to get her to admit that she likes the band for their looks, not really their music. Yeah, sure, some are nice ones, a lot of them even, but even die-hard fans don’t like every single song. To claim that it is so is to belittle them, or any artiste. It’s just not on.
So I tried to get her to confess her real reason for liking the band. She said that she would still love them because they rock, and besides, in their early times just when they did their debut, they weren’t hot like they are now. They were chubbier but they were still cute. (“So there! I liked them even if they don’t have the looks!” -> the quote is my self-insert. Again. But you know that was what she was thinking!)
Still not wanting to give up – that day, I was in a super argumentative mood – I asked if she would still like them if they looked like, saaaaaayyyyy,
To be honest, I don’t even know if she knows this American band. I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t. Then I tried to twist it around by asking if she would still like the band if ALL their songs are, according to her own description, scary songs. Metal. Heavy metal. What have you (seriously, I have lost the whole “Which Genre Do You Fit Into?” plot). Suffice to say I wasn’t very confident of her answer.
In the end, she made some excuse that her brain’s not really working so she doesn’t quite get me, and she’s sorry tee-hee (this time, she did all the tee-heeing on her own). After the whole convoluted exchange we had, and with it ending with her apology, I was too overcome to do anything but
So… umm… who actually won?
Therefore, if you’re underaged, help me help you. Get me? You spare me the drivel and I’ll spare you the whole emotional vomit on my blog. Or if you really have to talk to me for some reason (thanks, I know I’m awesome. If I owe you money, fuck you _|_ ), DO NOT TELL ME YOUR AGE TO SAVE ME THE HORROR.
There is innocence. And then there is Y U MAKE ME WANNA POKE MY EYE OUT?! Please, if nothing else, let me retain my oh-so-pretty, shake-mah-booty, you-can’t-have-me face.
Yes. I am a grown woman bullying a 14 year old kid. So what? Someone’s got to disabuse her of those goody-goody ickiness.